Once You're Mine
by EverLastingXLove
Summary: It has been two years since Beetlejuice has been in the Netherworld waiting room, once Juno was finally able to see him she gives him his punishment for his crimes. Though he has two choices spend an eternity on Saturn or live in the world of the living under the watch of a probation officer of his choosing…and he chose Lydia. I DO NOT OWN BEETLEJUICE OR ANY OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS


"_**Once You're Mine…" **_

_**Chapter One: Now Serving Number 9,998,383,750,000 **_

The Netherworld waiting room was never a great place to be, it was far too crowded, and the waits were always such a pain in the ass and there were always those new arrivals who don't understand their fate and think they are still alive and try their hardest to be your best friend when you clearly want nothing to do with them. And that very thing was happening to a ghost named Beetlejuice at that very moment, and it was annoying him to no end. He had been in that damn crowded waiting room for two years now, and still his number has yet to be called. The man sitting next to Beetlejuice was the most obnoxious ghost he had ever met, though Beetlejuice was **NOT **giving up his seat so moving away from the new arrival wasn't an option, so Beetlejuice had to sit there for two years and endure the annoying new arrival.

"Then that's when I met my wife Daisy, she was so beautiful! Not like the really beautiful girls, but beautiful you know what I'm saying?" The ghost went on.

"Yeah, yeah…sure." Beetlejuice grumbled as he sat there with his arms crossed, the ghost next to him hadn't shut up and has been yapping in his ear for two whole years.

Though Beetlejuice hadn't really been listening to the ghost all those years, he learned to tune him out but he was still pretty damn annoying. Beetlejuice tried countless of times to hurry up Juno, but the receptionist would always tell him to be patient, well Beetlejuice wasn't a very patient ghost. Beetlejuice even tried trading seats with another ghost but they didn't want to be subjected to the same annoyance Beetlejuice was. Then suddenly the next thing Beetlejuice heard was the most beautiful music to his dead ears.

"Now serving number 9,998,383,750,000." the repositioned said loudly.

"There was this one time, where I got an infection on my big toe at band camp, and Daisy she got on her knees and-" The ghost went on but Beetlejuice just stopped him.

"Look, Bob." Beetlejuice started. "Its been nice talkin' to ya, but I got some business to attend too. I'll catch ya later, enjoy the after life kiddo." Beetlejuice said as he stood from his seat.

"But…my name is Bernard." the ghost frowned.

"Yeah, of course it is. See ya later, Bob." Beetlejuice said as he smoothed out his dusty red suit jacket.

"Number 9,998,383,750,00 this is your last call." the receptionist called out.

"I'm here! I'm here!" Beetlejuice called as he walked over to the opened doors, ready to get this whole thing done and over with.

"Take your handbook and go to the sixth door. Juno is waiting for you there." The man at the door with an arrow sticking out of his head said simply.

"My handbook? Shit…I haven't seen that damn piece of crap for years." Beetlejuice grumbled.

"Have you forgotten your handbook? Shall we reschedule Mr. Juice?" The man asked as he eyed Beetlejuice with his dark beady eyes.

"No! Hold up, I have it right here! I swear!" Beetlejuice chuckled nervously as he turned around and snatched a handbook from another ghosts hands. "Here! I have it, see I told ya I did!" he grinned, revealing the beetles stuck between his teeth.

The man rolled his eyes as he led Beetlejuice up to Juno's office, as Beetlejuice followed behind the man he couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. He and Juno never got a long, she hated him…and he knew that she was going to do everything possible to shut him down and make sure he never gets out again. Once he reached the office he took a deep unneeded breath of air as he put on his usual cocky smile, strolling into the office.

"Hey babes! Did ya miss me?" Beetlejuice grinned as he held out his arms as if he was expecting Juno to run into them.

"Shut up and sit down, you really screwed yourself over!" Juno snapped.

Beej merely rolled his eyes and plopped down on the old chair that was sitting across from her desk. He has gotten us to Juno's nagging for quite some time, so it didn't really bother him, all he did was sit there and tune her out like usual.

"Do you realize all the trouble you've caused that poor family?" Juno asked as she arched her delicate eyebrow, taking a long drag on her cigarette, the smoke slowly drifting up from the slit in her neck.

"Your point is, babes?" Beej sigh as he began picking at his nails absentmindedly. "Can we hurry this up? I got some shit I gotta do, I got a photo shoot to go to in about an hour and a half…kinda got to be there in person." Beej lied.

"You aren't going anywhere! Do you know just how many laws you've broken while you were terrorizing that poor family?" Juno asked in an irritated tone.

"Nope, but I got a feelin' your gonna tell, am I right?"

"Your damn right I'm going to tell you! Though come to think of it, If I tell you we will be here an extra two years. So instead of wasting my time, I'm going to tell you your punishments." she said simply as she pulled a file out and place it in front of her.

At the word punishments Beej blinked and stood from his chair as he looked down at her with his intense blue eyes, he couldn't be punished for something this stupid could he?

"C'mon babes! I didn't do anything that bad did I? I was just tryin' to have a little fun, you can't blame a ghost for that can ya?" he frowned.

Though Juno ignored Beej's whining and opened the file in front of her, as her eyes skimmed the page once she found what she was looking for she placed her long slender finger under the words as a marker as she looked back up at the disgusting ghost in front of her.

"You have two choices. One you can spend an eternity on Saturn or you can find yourself a living probation officer that will deal with you for three whole years." Juno said simply as she reached over to pick up the pen next to her. "And considering I don't know any sane living person that will deal with you for three years, I'm going to sign you onto Saturn." she said simply.

Before Juno could say anything more on the subject, Beej reached over and snagged the pen from her hand.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! C'mon now….we don't need to get hasty here, babes." Beej said simply as he gave her a crooked grin. "I got someone for ya."

"Oh, yeah? Pray tell me who is stupid enough to put up with your bullshit for three years?" Juno asked curiously, she didn't know anyone in their right mind who would put up with her former assistant for that long.

"Uh…" Beej paused as he thought it over, he didn't have any living friends whatsoever…hell he did his best to avoid the living, they were so boring. Then it hit him, he knew exactly who could do it…she would be utterly perfect! "Lydia Deetz that's who."

A silence fell over the cluttered Neitherworld office as Juno glared up at Beej with her intense gaze, that was enough to make him squirm but he wasn't going to back down. He named Lydia Deetz and that is exactly who he'd have.

Juno let out an irritated sigh as she began to rub her temples as if she had a massive headache, was he serious right now? Did he think Lydia would have him after everything he's done?

"You got to be kidding me. Are you serious?" Juno spat as she glared up at him. "Even if you are serious, Lydia cannot be your probation officer she isn't of age."

Just then Beej's lips twitched up into an eerie smirk as he crossed his arms, he knew for a fact she was of age, did this old bat really forget it's been two years already?

"You better uh check your little file, babes. Last I checked it's been two years." Beej said simply as he plopped back down into the seat that was behind him. This was it, was going to get off scot-free with Lydia as his probation officer his life wasn't going to be a living hell. She was a kid, what was she gonna do to him? Besides it was far better than Mars…and those damn sandworms just thinking about them gave him the creeps.

Juno them rolled her eyes as she reached over for another file, a file on the Maitland's case. After a few moments of skimming the file and turning the same page multiple times just to recheck her findings she let out a sigh of defeat and looked up at the ghost sitting in front of her, with such a cocky grin.

"As much as I hate to say this, your right." Juno said as she closed the file in front of her, oh she could just slap that know it all smile off his face but she controlled herself. "Well, if you are sure she is who you want…I have no choice but to sentence you to three years under the watchful eyes of Lydia Deetz." she said in a formal tone as she snapped her fingers.

Once she snapped her fingers her office door opened revealing a rather large man dressed up as a guard of some sort, but he did not look pretty. Half of his face seemed to be torn off, revealing the muscle it was quite hideous and hard not to stare. Though when the guard felt as if he was being stared at he snarled and glared at Beej, causing him to immediately avert his eyes from the man far bigger than him. The guard then turned his gaze towards Juno as he awaited her orders.

"Take Mr. Juice up to the world of the living to the Maitland's house. It's a case 218." Juno said simply, though she did feel bad to be subjecting this poor family to this ghost once again…but what could she do? This was the law, once he said Lydia's name…she could do nothing about it.

The guard nodded his head curtly as he turned towards Beej, snapping a pair of handcuffs on his wrists, causing Beej to frown.

"What are you serious babes? C'mon, are these really necessary?" he asked in annoyance as he pulled at the cuffs, but he knew they weren't going to budge.

"I swear, if you do anything to harm that girl or her family…you are going to Saturn. No ands, ifs or buts about it! Do you understand me?" Juno snapped as she stood from her desk.

"Yeah, yeah whatever I understand ya. Just get me out of this dump, I got some shit I gotta do." Beej smirked as he looked over to her with that crooked smile of his. Then before Juno could say anything more Beej and the guard disappeared in a flash.

Once he disappeared from her office she let out a sigh and sat back down in her chair, she couldn't help but wonder if she did the right thing? This whole issues started with that family and here she was sending him back to them, all she knew for certain was she was going to have Barbara and Adam Maitland down here in nothing flat to yap in her ear about what a mistake she's made.

Then suddenly her office door opened, pulling her from her thoughts. When she looked up she noticed a young man dressed up in a Football jersey causing her to let out an annoyed sigh. It has been two years, when are these idiots going to move on and leave her alone?

"Coach…where's the bathroom?" the boy asked in a low tone as he scratched his head through his battered helmet.

"Your dead! You don't need the bathroom, how many times do I have to tell you that?" she snapped as she waved her hand in irritation. "Now, will you shut up and get the hell out of here! Some of us have work do to!"


End file.
